The Solitude of a Shadow by Devibharathi

Author:Devibharathi
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Harper Perennial India
Published: 2024-03-12T23:00:00+00:00

THIS STORY ENDED QUITE SOON afterwards—very soon, in fact. Sulo had appeared before me like a ghost who put an end to everything: my vengeance, which could never be wreaked; my vow, which could never be fulfilled; my love, which had turned bloodless and pale; my lust, without form, taste or colour, which had dwindled to nothing. I couldn’t tell whether she was a benign or evil spirit. In truth, when she smiled at me, I didn’t recognize her at all. I couldn’t believe how much she had changed. The woman before me was not the cheeky young girl I had met for the first time, nor the pitiful naïf in the nursing home wilting under the burdens imposed on her. That she looked slightly filled out now was not a drastic change. But an unpleasant and frightening shift was evident in her narrow eyes. A stench that could not have been hers wafted from her body. She was not perturbed at all on seeing me. Even when she spoke about Karunakaran, no profound grief was discernible in her voice. Her demeanour was friendly and courteous. ‘Why don’t you come home sometime?’ It was her formal invitation to an acquaintance she was meeting after a long time. Given my situation, I had no option but to accept what could hardly be considered an invitation. Nonetheless, that was how it seemed to me at the time. I left with her immediately. She had sensed that I had no money with me. She boarded the bus through the front entrance and occupied an empty seat. Then she looked at me standing near the rear entrance and gestured to indicate that she would buy a ticket for me too. After that, she did not turn even once to look at me.

We hired an autorickshaw from the bus terminus. She looked very tired. Reclining in her seat, she laid the baby on her lap and closed her eyes, waking up only after we reached home. The house was in a horrible state. When the front door opened, an odious stench assaulted the nostrils. Barring a dim, fat bulb burning in the hall, the house was shrouded in darkness. Sulo set the baby down and switched on a few lights. A feeble voice called from inside. I was sure that it could not be Karunakaran’s. Then, steering her wheelchair with effort, his wife came into the room. For a long time, she was unable to recognize me. After reminding her about me in several different ways, Sulo gave up trying. The family barber, who turned up from somewhere, led her away to another room. Afterwards, during my stay in that house, I saw her only twice. Since every inch of that house was covered by a thick layer of dust, I gathered that there was no one to take care of it. After laying her sleeping child on the bed, Sulo tidied up a portion of the hall in a listless manner. As though she

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